Dysphoria is the first video in what will hopefully be a series about the artist’s journey with gender identity, dysphoria, and transition. This is a video of raw words and emotions. I am Ley, I am myself, and I am open, because we could all need more honesty and queers to relate to.
about the artist
Ley Lortie is a non-binary (they/il) multimedia artist whose practice centers around video (live and animation) and 3D modeling but who also explores music, sound, photography, poetry, performance and programming. Their inspiration is most often self-development, with topics in mental health, queerness, paganism, spirituality and witchcraft.
Email: firstname.lastname@example.org ︎
info on transitioning
Information for transitioning is unfortunately hard to find and some ressources are SO hidden. Therefore, I decided to share the fruit of my research and digging with others (Quebec-specific).
︎ Here’s a google doc with all the information I have in english.
︎ And here is a version in french.
behind the scenes
• I did my coming out to nearly everyone in my life and it went super well, when I told my mom how beautifully my dad reacted she cried on the other side of the phone.
• The first form to request my change of name has been sent in the mail and I got a response to say it was received and will be reviewed.
• I got my letter of recommendation from a therapist who specializes in helping trans folks like me, something which is required to have access to surgery.
• Now, the next step that is in motions is contacting the GRS for surgery, filling out the forms, and getting a letter of good health from my doctor. After that it’ll be a bunch of waiting.
• I am evolving every day and gaining more strength and confidence, though my feelings may be heavy sometimes, I know I have bright things to look at ahead and with the friends I have, it keeps my head above the water. I can’t wait to fully bloom.
Because music is my lifeline when I feel heavy, I thought I’d share my personal playlist of my top songs that I listen to when dealing with dysphoria.
Open on Spotify︎
Open on Spotify︎
tracklist with lyric highlights
1. The Village - Wrabel ︎
"They say don't dare, don't you even do there, cutting off your long hair, you do as you're told. Tell you wake up, go put on your makeup, this is just a phase you're gonna outgrow. There's something wrong in the village! They stare in the village! There's nothing wrong with you, it's true, it's true. There's something wrong in the village."
2. Release - Imagine Dragons ︎
"Is there nothing good in me? Is there nothing good in me? I've let me down, down, down, down. I've let me down, down, down, down. Petty lies to everyone, in the hopes that I could be someone."
3. Under My Skin - Jukebox and The Ghost ︎
"I can feel you breathing under my skin and each breath you take is a brand new beginning"
4. Body - Mother Mother ︎
"I've grown tired of this body, cumbersome and heavy body. I've grown tired of this body, fall apart without me body.”
5. On Birds and Bodies - Skylar Kergil ︎
"And my body says, you can't do like you used to, boy, no you can't do like you used to. And what part of, I need this to survive, did you not understand? Did you not understand?"
6. Dysphoria - Saint Wellesley ︎
"She said gender is a universe and we are all stars, and I believe her because this planet is bigger than us. Someday we'll leave her."
7. This is Home - Cavetown ︎
"Are you tired of me yet? I'm a little sick right now but I swear, when I'm ready I will fly us out of here. I'll cut my hair, to make you stare. I'll hide my chest, and I'll figure out a way to get us out of here"
8. Trying - Cavetown ︎
"Please please be here for me, dear, 'caus I've never needed a friend more, and I can't stress enough how much it means to me that you're trying. And I don't mind if you can't hold me like you used to 'caus I never hated myself more, but this is just a bump in the road and I promise I'm trying."